Why can't we behave like people on vacation all the time?

I've had wonderful four weeks of vacation full of fun, love, family, adventures, new experiences, and living worryfree for once. Isn't that the best thing about vacations? That we can - far away from all our every struggles and tasks - finally be our very best, easy going, fun self? That's why we meet new people on vacation, because that's the time we are peoples' persons. While in everyday life we're so annoyed and stressed, always running towards the next appointment, deadline or goal, that we don't even notice the people around us most of the time.

Now that I'm back home, I miss that vacation feeling. I miss talking about everything and nothing, about philosophy and the future and at the same time about cake and clothes. I miss going out to eat or to see a movie. I miss trying out new things because there's the oppurtunity and hey, we're on vacation! I understand that the way our society is built, people have to work in order earn money in order to save money in order to spend money (for example on a vacation). In everyday life there are always a million things to do, no matter if for you this includes working, studying or taking care of the kids. There's never enough time or money. On vacation we eat out all the time, while in everyday life this habit would just be too expensive and also: do you really wanna go out into the cold, dark night to eat or rather fix something up in your kitchen, then cuddle on the couch and watch The Walking Dead? Don't get me wrong, I'm a sucker of cuddling + food + a good (or bad but enjoyable) tv show. But once in a while, I'd like to have a nice dinner in a restaurant, to really talk, to watch the stars. Not only on vacation.

So, even if we can't live each and every day as carelessly as our vacation-alter-egos do, I think we can still try to include some of the vacation feeling into our everyday life. Even if it's something small like taking your time to sip your first cup of coffee and read the newspaper in the morning or taking a long walk (preferably through a beautiful snow landscape). Life's so much more than work. It's so much more than checking of an endless To Do List and waiting for the next vacation to arrive. All that stuff is pointless, if we don't enjoy ourself - not only once in a while but on a regular basis. If we can find a way to incorperate the vacation spirit into our everyday lives, not only will we become better, less grumpy versions of ourselves, but we will also find something that in the long run makes all the difference: not extatic joy - but contentment.

Do what makes you feel alive

My new 2016 diary says, It's time to be happy! And I love it because the message is surrounded by pretty roses in pink and purple. But still, it made me think: Isn't it always time to be happy? Honestly, I can't imagine thinking, oh well, being happy might be great, it's just not the time for it. Because all we want in life is to be happy, right?

But then, why aren't we? I realized that most times I am too worried or pissed of or anxious to be happy and I overthink every tiny detail and somehow it feels like, given the circumstances, I am not allowed to be happy. My boyfriend's job search isn't going so well. I have difficult events to organize in the near future. My friend's partner is a douche. There are major decicions ahead of me. How could I be happy? I have to take care of so many things. I have to get my shit together. There's no time to be happy.

Let's write this down:

I am always allowed to be happy!

I don't have to ask for permission to be happy. Even if my life is stressful and overwhelming, I can still be happy. All it depends on is what I focus my energy on. Do I drown in my misery? Or do I take the nessecary steps in order to improve my life, but afterwards allow myself to calm down, be grateful and do something which makes me happy?

Do what makes you happy. This sounds about right, but it's still too vague. What makes us happy is a tricky decision. Maybe we think watching TV shows all day long and eating chocolate makes us happy, it definitely does!, but in the long run, is this really how you want to live your life eyery day?

So rather than telling myself, do what makes you happy, I tell myself:

Do what makes you feel alive!

Doing what makes you feel alive gives you energy, it makes you really live and soon you will thrive for more experiences, for change, for risk - all the things which make you happy.

What makes me feel alive? The first time I thought about this saying, I was having a bath with my boyfriend some years ago. I looked at him and it was like I could literally feel the existence of my beating heart, that's how physically I felt my love for him. In that moment I understood, this is what they mean, when they say "He makes me feel alive."

Still many moments in which I feel alive are with my boyfriend. Cuddling, deep talks, sex, experiencing a beautiful night sky with him. But there is so much more. Creating something, may it be a blog post, a novel or a photograph makes me feel alive. Sharing my work makes me feel alive. Travelling, going out with my friends, great conversations, dancing, reading a book which really pulls me in, meeting new interesting people - all of these things make me feel alive.

In 2016 I want to do more of what makes me feel alive. Will you join me?

On letting go and forgiving (yourself)

One of the most important lessons I have learned in my 24 1/2 years on this earth is that being able to let go is abolutely crucial to survive. Because if you can't let go, you will be miserable for the rest of your life.

Bad things happen to good people. (They also happen to bad people, and they're not so glad about it either, by the way.) You might have had an unhappy childhood. Maybe your parents never loved you enough. Maybe you fell for a douche and got your heart broken. Yes, people can be assholes sometimes. Even worse, sometimes things happen by chance, unfortunate events and accidents, and you have noone to blame but some vague concept like fate.

Things like that can really slow down our life or even make it pause completely. Suddenly all you can think is about this one bad thing that happened to you. You're not able to trust anyone anmore, you're sad, you pity yourself and you're afraid to live your life. Well none of this is gonna help you in any way. Just because something unfair happened to you, doesn't mean that you have a right to waste your life. Because you will never get those years back.

The only thing which will save your life, is to let it go. I know, this is easier said than done. Sometimes I do little rituals like burning a letter or writing in my diary or telling myself, once I blow out this candle I'll let it go. This might seem fake, but whatever helps you smoothen the process works.

The thing to do is whenever you think about the thing which keeps you from moving forward, realize that you're thinking about it, then consiously think about something different, like what food you're going to eat later or who's your favorite Friends character. I know things like that might sound trivial compared to your life-shattering experience, but sometimes you have to stay shallow in order to not drown in deep water. In the beginning you will feel like cheating, because you distract yourself, but one day the distraction will not be so obvious anymore, and you will slowly let it go.

I do this every night. When I'm lying in bed trying to fall asleep, I often drift away to every single bad thing that ever happened to me and I get caught in a depressing spirale. But once I realize I'm stuck, I tell myself: enough about this, let's make up a story in my head about adventures and magic.

For me, even worse that things other people or life itself did to me, are the things I did. You might have been a major asshole when you were younger and drove away some great friends and lovers. You might have hurt people. Also, we all mess up constantly. Maybe we screwed up at work, maybe we cheated, maybe we typed in our code wrong at the ATM machine and now our card is blocked. No matter if it's something big or small, when we make mistakes it really brings us down.

If there's something you can do to make the situation better, do it. Apologize. It won't make it go away but not apologizing will make it even worse. But at some point you have to let it go. It happened. You can't take it back. So, you screwed up. Well, people aren't perfect. We all make mistakes. Just like you might have to forgive someone who did you wrong for the sake of your own happyness, you have to learn to forgive yourself.

Forgive yourself, let it go and move on with your life. Don't waste anymore time on the past. Put your energy into creating a better future instead.

Instant Happyness

There are those days on which I feel like crawling into my bed and never coming out again. On these days I need to make use of some tricks I've established for myself to boost my mood instantly.

Here are 10 things that give me Instant Happyness:

1. Reading a fantasy book and drinking green tea

Fantasy literature makes it possible for me to escape the real world and forget all about the aweful day I might have had and instead live someone else's life which is a lot more magical and adventurous. If I add a green tea to this equation, I immidiately feel so much better. I'm a deep believer in the power of green tea. It gives you energy, boosts your mood and helps your circulation.

2. Having good sex

Good sex is like medicine for me because I can let go and only focus on the sensation of my own and my boyriend's body. Fortunately my boyfriend and I live together so that we can basically have sex whenever we want to and honestly, this makes my life so much better.

3. Watching an inspiring show

Which tv show this might be depends on my current taste. Last year I regularily watched Friends because it simply showed me that everyone struggles and that it's okay. Because you know, noone told you life was gonna be this way. If I want to escape reality I watch Buffy or Supernatural. At the moment I'm watching now and then an episode of the new Vampire Diaries season because it has so many feels and sometimes I just need to use up all my tears for someone else's misery.

4. Looking up at the stars

I love the stars. Seriously, if you feel like your life sucks and your problems are like a huge wave rolling towards you, just go outside and look up at the stars. All these pretty lights up there are Suns and they all have there own planets with who knows what's there. The universe is fucking amazing, man! Be grateful that you live in such a wonderful world.

5. Ordering Pizza

This is pretty self-explanitory. A freshly baked pizza with lots of cheese and dripping grease makes it impossible to be upset.

6. Taking a hot bubble bath

Bubble baths are right out of heaven! After a hard day at work I let in hot water, steal my boyfriends manly bubble bath soap and soak in the tup for 15 minutes. The great thing about taking a bath is that you don't have to do anything. You can just lie there and do absolutely nothing but enjoying the warmth that surrounds you.

7. Snuggling up in his arms

No matter how aweful my day was, when I crawl into bed at night and snuggle up in my boyfriend's arms, I always feel at piece. Because honestly I have this person in my life who's there for me no matter what and who gladly gives me a backrub when I'm stressed, so really what am I complaining about? I feel like no matter what happens, as long as I can fall asleep in his arms every night, I have a perfect life.

8. Building an indoor tent

I don't do this often. Only when I truely feel like I want to hide from all the bad stuff in the world. Then I gather lots of blankets and pillows and drape them over chairs and my couch and crawl in there with a nice book and I stay in there until I feel like I'm ready to deal with life's shit again. An indoor tent is a pause from all the bad stuff because really, nothing bad has ever happened to me while I was in there.

9. Taking a ride at a Merry Go Round

Yes, well, I'm still a child. If I see a Merry Go Round I HAVE to get on it and go in circles as fast as possible. I guess it just gives me lots of good homones which make my heart beat faster.

10. Practicing my favorite sport

My favorite sport is dancing and after my dance lesson every Wednesday I feel great no matter what kind of day I had before that. Dancing releases adrenaline and it simply makes me happy and not care about dumb people (including myself). In a week I also start Yoga and I'm excited how this will turn out for me.

I am constanly looking to enlarge my list of things that bring Instant Happyness. What makes you instantly happy?