re-publish: Problems = challenges = the start of something amazing

It's only Tuesday and I already feel like at the end of an extremely stressful week. And last week wasn't much better. So instead of posting something new, I'm going to re-publish a post from a year ago which I keep thinking about and which still feels true:

There are times when it seems like every day a new problem arises and your entire life is nothing but problem solving.

I keep thinking about a quote from The Marian movie (which is fantastic by the way) based on a book by Andy Weir. The hero Mark Watney is stranded by himself on Mars and has to find a way to survive on a planet which is deadly in so many ways. The way he makes his disastrous situation work is truly inspiring. Yes, Mark Watney is my idol (regardless of the fact that he is fictional).

At the end of the movie he tells his students:

“At some point, everything’s gonna go south on you and you’re going to say, this is it. This is how I end. Now you can either accept that, or you can get to work. That’s all it is. You just begin. You do the math. You solve one problem and you solve the next one, and then the next. And if you solve enough problems, you get to go home.”

(Mark Watney, The Martian)

This is very much the essence of life. Life will always be full of problems and you will have to solve one problem after the next in order to move forward. The trick is to not let the problems cloud your entire life. Because if you look close enough, amongst all these problems you can see moments of pure magic: hours spent with your lover watching the night sky, afternoons laughing and drinking coffee with your friends, an inspiring book, a mind blowing movie, the wind which blows though your hair when you stand on a bridge in your home town, bright flowers, bonfires, hikes through the forest, hot chocolate with marshmallows, a beautiful dream. Those are the moments we are living for.

Problems are also challenges. They are a chance to grow and to fight through the storm in order to come out of it as a stronger version of yourself. Problems ask for new ways of thinking, for creative solutions and for change. And yes, change is terrifying, but it can also be the start of something amazing.

First, take care of yourself

I was sick over the last week. I was so consumed by my work and ignored my cold for days, until it finally develloped into the real flu and I had to stay at home for a week. I feel a lot better now, not only pyhsically but also mentally.

Because my real illness, was not the flu, it was stress. I had so much stress at work lately, handling a million things at once, things going wrong, correcting mistakes. There were days were I ran from one of my company's locations to the other all day long because I had to take care of things at both places, stopping at home twice to cry in my boyfriend's arms.

It was just too much.

The problem is not that I work too much, it's that my work follows me into my evenings and weekends because I constantly think about it. Which is idiotic, of course. Because I can't change it now. I am the kind of employee who leaves at 5pm and doesn't answer phone calls at the weekend. But what good is it, if I think about work nevertheless?

And it's not just my work. I am constantly worrying about tomorrow, next week, a year from now, when I'm old. I'm worrying about my furute, my boyfriend's future, my friends' future, my company's future. With all this, there isn't much time left which is simply mine to enjoy.

Now I had plenty of time for myself because I was sick. And it felt so good. For the first time in a long time, I really took care of my health and my mental health. I let my boyfriend make me soup. I slept a lot. I did yoga. I drank plenty of tea, I read. I watched movies. I wrote in my diary.

And I realized: Being stressed and worrying all the time truly is a waste of the time we're given. For all we know, we could drop dead at any minute. We should just enjoy it! We should do things that make us happy! We should really live!

So from now on, I'm gonna go to work, do what I can, but when I leave the office, I will leave it all there. I can deal with this shit tomorrow. But in the evening and on weekends I will spend my time with people and activities that make me happy. If I feel like it's too much, I will take a break, not only when I'm sick.

Because it's nice to care for others or your company. But first of all, we have to take care of ourselves. There is nothing selfish about putting your own mental and physical health first. This is simply surving the best you can. And this is what we're all here for.