Why the Game of Thrones Season 5 Finale was Perfection

Warning: If you haven't seen episode 5/10 of Game of Thrones yet, this post contains major spoilers! (even if you've read the books)

Last night I watched the Game of Thrones Season 5 Finale and man, it was a ride! Like always GOT didn't dissapoint and showed some truly unexpected twists and turns. In my opinion it was one of the best episodes of the entire show because every scene was a total mindblowing revelation and I had no second to catch my beath because it was that brutal and that crazy and most of all that good.

So let's jump right into the action.

Stannis Baratheon looses absolutely everything

I have to say throughout the last season my opinion of Stannis Baratheon went from "I couldn't care less" to "Hey he's not that bad". When he came to the Wall and saved Jon Snow and Westeros I even labeled him as a (selfish) hero for a split second. I even thought that he might have a chance (and definitely a right - he's the king's only living relative, his brother, after all) at winning the throne.

Well obviously I was a fool. In the season 5 finale Stannis first looses his wife (after having burned his own daughter the episode before), then half of his army who desert him, then the other half because they die in battle and then he almost looses his own life. Except we technically don't see that happening. And something tells me Stannis might have survived. But he's still left with nothing.

Obviouly the reason for his quick downfall is the read headed priestress of the Fire God Melissandre. I could preach you all now what I've always known (Don't trust witches!) but I guess at this point everyone learned the lesson.

Sansa Stark and Theon Greyjoy run away together

While Stannis' army fights Ramsey's army, Sansa wants to use the chance and run away. Unfortunately Theon Greyjoy and a girl (who I believe is in love with Ramsey) stop her. Just as Sansa's misery started to get really annoying, Theon suddenly throws the other girl down a wall, takes Sansa's hand and the two of them flee together.

Well this was a really unsuspected and very welcome suprise. Finally something good happens, a glimmer of light. I mean if Theon Greyjoy can overcome his master's control after everything he went through and can finally man up and protect Sansa, then what's isn't possible? This is really a sign of hope and I'm curious what will happen to the two of them. I would expect them to become lovers if it wasn't for Theon's little misfortune in that area.

Myrcella dies after Jaime has succesfully rescued her from Dawn

So Jaime Lannister is finally allowed to take his daughter home. And then the two of them have a heartbraking conversation about how Myrcella's tottaly fine with her uncle being her Dad. Finally Jaime gets some good news. I mean sure Jaime and Cercei's relationship is really weird, but I do believe that Jaime is a genuinely decent guy and that he's willing to do anything for the ones he loves.

Just when I wondered how Myrcella turned out so goodlooking though her parents are siblings (but equally goodlooking ones)... she dies. Honestly this was the biggest shock of the episode for me. It turns out that the Viper's widow poisened her and she just dies right in the arms of her father. Man, that scene sucked and broke my heart.

Cercei walks the Walk of Shame

Cercei confesses that she slept with her cousin (but NOT that she slept with her brother because she would do anything to protect her kids and her brother). Before she is released, she has to do atonement. For that they cut her hair, strip her naked and she has to to walk back to the castle.

This is the most intense scene of the whole episode. We see Cercei's entire Walk of Shame. People yell at her, spit at her, call her whore and slut, show her their genitals and throw something that looks a lot like feces at her. Cercei is totally broken and terrified but she keeps walking, her eyes fixed on the price, the castle which she calls her home. She proves to be an incredibly strong woman. Also even with her hair cut, naked and with spit and feces all over her, she looks fabolous.

Arya kills the guy who killed her fighting teacher

Remember when Ed Stark hired a swordfight teacher to teach his rebellious daughter Arya to fight? That seems a millenia ago. A time when Ed Stark was still alive, as were all the other members of the Stark family. Oh sweet nostalgia. Well now he's dead, just as Cat Stark, Robb and his wife.

But Arya finally gets her sweet revenge. Turns out the murderer of her fighting teacher goes to the local whore house regularily and asks for young girls who he then beats up. Arya is one of these girls. Except that she doesn't cry out when he hits her but instead brutally murders him, stabbing him repeatedly including in his eyes.

Then Arya goes back to the strange place where she learns to serve the Many Faced God where her master is disappointed in her because she killed the wrong man, then kills himself, just to come walking in again revealing that the person he killed apparently was someone else who wore his face. And then Arya goes blind. That was some really crazy shit!

Tyrion becomes Warden of Mereen

After the rebellion in the previous episode from which Danaerys flew riding her dragon, we find Tyrion, Sir Jorah and this handsome guy Danarys has sex with thinking about what to do left. Finally Sir Jorah and Mr. Handsome leave to look for Daenarys and Tyrion is left with the task to rule over Mereen during her absence.

Well they found the right guy. Tyrion has proven to be the most able and even kind of fair ruler so far. This little guy knows politics and he's smart and honestly don't we all  root for him to end up on the throne? Yes, he killed his father but he stood by his family long enough and I think that he truly wants the best for Westeros. Whatever that is.

Danaerys meets a Dothraki army

So Danaerys is stranded in a wasteland with her wounded dragon. When she wanders aroung, a huge group of men on horses, I'm guessing a Dothraki army, gallops towards her and then circles her in a wild and crazy horse dance kind of thing. I'm not sure if this is a good or a bad sign but honestly I couldn't care less about Danaerys anyway.

Jon Snow is murdered by his brothers

I have to admit that a couple of hours before I watched the episode last night I accidently read an interview with Kid Harrington who plays Jon Snow (and by accidently I mean that I couldn't resist). In this interview he said that Jon Snow is defintely dead and will definitely not come back. So Jon's death was no surprise to me. Actually I expected his death for a while now because of two reasons.

First, Kit Harrington cut his hair and I've read before that he's per contract forbidden to cut his hair as long as he plays Jon Snow. Second, Jon Snow was the last real hero of the show. He has always been one of the good guys, the type who is always trying to do the right thing and usually suceeds with it, and the good guys tend to die on Game of Thrones. I mean first Ed Stark, then Robb Stark and now Jon Snow. George R. R. Martin obviously gets tired of heroes really fast.

What I didn't expect was the way Jon Snow died. I always imagined him dying in battle, dying as the hero he always was. But of course this is not the style of Game of Thrones. In GOT characters die in the most shockin way possible. Ed Stark was beheaded by Joffrey. Robb was betrayed at his cousin's wedding and stabbed together with his mother and pregnant wife. And Jon Snow too was betrayed by his own family. The members of the Nights Watch (at least some of them) lured him into a trap and then stabbed him one after another. And he's definitely dead.

I liked Jon Snow a lot. Of course I did, not only because he is absolutely hot, but mostly because I have always been a supporter of the good guys. I'm into heroes. I'm a "Superman yay, Batman nay," type of girl. Well, it's my downfall with Game of Thrones. Now my favourite character who's still living is Jaime Lannister. That's how low my standards have sunk.

So R.I.P. Jon Snow and now it's more clear than ever that Winter Is definitely Coming hard.

A look inside the soul of a twentysomething

I'm a sucker of inspiring quotes. So here are some lines which feel true at the moment.

Last weekend I crashed a car. And I'm proud of myself.

Just to clarify: I am not proud of myself because I crashed a car. This was not a rebellion or a political statement of some kind. It was really nothing but stupid as hell.

I spent 4 days in another German city to take part in a book fair and hold an evening event. Two hours before the big show, I picked up the dancers and musicians at the train station and drove them to the location they were performing at. When I attempted to park, I crashed my bosses car right into a stone pillar. Yes, there were several people in the car who talked all at ones. There were suitcases piled up to the roof. I was stressed out. But most of all I was incredibly stupid and apparently at least partly blind.

You know what they say: When something bad happens, there are two options: Fight or Flight. My instinct told me to run away, move to Scandinavia and never talk to anyone from my company ever again. I wanted to leave it all behind so badly. But I was standing right in front of the concert hall where an event I had organised was taking place two hours later. This was my responsibility. A lot of people depended on wether I'll throw it all away right then and there or I'll be a grown up and keep on going.

I called my boss and explained her what happened. Then I parked the car in a parking garage. Fortunately it was still working and the damage was only cosmetical, but it was still a huge damage. After the car was parked and my boss informed, I called my boyfriend mumbling unintelligible sentences and crying for 5 minutes straigtht. He told me to calm down and keep going with the event preparation because there was no way I could fix the car. So I said "okay" about 15 times, got some napkins from a bakery, wiped my tears away and carried on.

I literally carried on. I carried a big box with hundred books (among them photography books which are heavy as hell) on a 15 minute walk from the parking garage to the event location. At least I tried to. After a couple of minutes, I was so desperate, I yelled at a guy walking in front of me and begged him to help me. He helped me because there are still some decent people in this world.

I build a selling table with my hundred books on it, changed my clothes, talked with the technician. I read several text passages during the show, accompagnied by a cello player. All my friends were there, even my Mum was there. And though all hell broke loose before the show, I can still say, that the show was a success.

So no, I am not proud of myself because I am apparently too stupid to drive. But I am proud of myself because I didn't follow my instinct and fled. I chose to fight instead. I went on going though I was freaking out inside. And this is the only reason I am still standing.

Ask people if they like what they're doing

On thrusday I'm off again to a different city to organize and hold a small bookfair and an evening event. The best thing about my job is that I meet a lot of people with fascinating jobs and glamorous lifestyles: professional dancers, musicians, authors, comedians. And I love talking to them and hearing about their extraordinary work lives.

But not everyone is a performing artist. Most people have less glamorous jobs. They're nursers or waiters or teachers or cashiers or cleaning personal or janitors or construction worker. Or maybe they're the people who change the posters on train stations when noone is watching (seriously, have you ever actually seen someone exchange the posters in public spaces? they just seem to change magically).

At the moment I am obsessed with jobs noone talks about, with duties that have to been done but noone really knows who does them. So whenever I meet a person with a job I don't know much about (which are really most jobs), I am excited.

When we meet someone knew, one of our first questions is probably: What do you do for a living? And when they tell us, we usually say something like: Oh that's interesting! Or, if it's not interesting, we say something lame like: Ah okay.

I have a friend who everytime someone tells her what they do for a living, she asks them, if they like it. And some people are so taken back by this question, that they need a moment to think about it. Because noone ever asks people if they like what they're doing. We either just assume they do or (and sadly this is often the case) we couldn't care less. Well, we should . By asking people if they like what they're doing, my friend challenges them to think about if they're happy where they are and about what they really want out of life. And I tell you, it totally blows people's minds.

So the next time a person tells you their job, ask them if they like it.

And also: Do you like what you're doing?

A Hymn to Friendship

Over the last weekend I took a trip to my childhood hometown, accompagnied by a new friend, to spend some time with the friends I have know for half my life.

Lately I noticed that I have become very picky with friends. In my new home, I only have two real friends (real meaning that I can talk to them on a deeper level). One of them is the friend I've brought with me to my trip "home". It's funny because when I first met her, I didn't consider her a potential real friend. She seemed nice and friendly and most of my other good friends are quite the opposite. But then I noticed how I got into really intense conversations with her and how she was willing to share her deepest feelings, which soemtimes were scarily similar to mine.

You know how these days not many people are willing to really lay open there inner selves? So many relationships are fun and entertaining but it never goes beyond this level. You never really get to know the other person to a degree where you feel like now you share an important experience. The truth is, I'm sick of shallow friendships. Life's too short to waste your life with people who don't touch and move your heart. You wouldn't spend time with an unfullfilling relationship, would you? So why spend it with unfulfilling friendships?

I might not have many friends that measure up to my high standards but the ones that I do have are extraordinary.

I have known one of my best friends for more than 10 years. Back then we were both enslaved by a really unhealthy friendship with another girl which stole most of my youth and made me miserable for so many wasted years. But then one night me and my now friend walked back home together and we really talked for the first time and it was like the world suddenly had hope again. We had incredible similar interests and values and dreams. We bonded right then and there, we freed ourselves from this unhealthy friendship we were stuck in. We have been friends for more than 10 years now and we have truly seen each other in our best and our worst times. Everytime I meet this person after being seperated from her for a month or more because we live in different cities, it's like no time has passed.

My other good friend from home is one of the most extraordinary people I know. When we hang out together, it's like we're on drugs without ever really being high on anything but each other. We talk so much, it's incredible. We push each other forward. Every little interesting thing that happens to me or that I hear about (like a book or an article or a song) I have to immidiately send her. She is the only person who is allowed to read my diary and to be honest, I partly only write it for her.

The other real friend I have in the city I live in, is my boyfriend. He has been my partner and lover for more than 3 years now and we were never just friends, nor will we ever be, but he is still my best friend. When I come home after an exhausting day at work, he is there, and I look at his adorable face and love just pours into my heart and erases all other feelings. I love talking with him, I love snuggling up to him, I love doing ordinary stuff like eating or cleaning with him, I love making love with him. So often I complain about my work life or other stressful aspect of my life but then he takes me in his arms and I realize that I already have it all. I have him.

I enjoy watching tv shows about twenty somethings like Friends or How I Met Your Mother (any suggestions for similar shows? Please tell me!) and they always have these absolutely awesome friend groups who permanently hang out together and are adorable together and help each other out and are hilarious. And man, I wish I had a friend group like them. But my friends are few and sprinkeled all over the country.

Still: I have four people who I consider my real friends, and I mean the really deep shit, the call me at 3am when you're depressed friends. There are no words to describe how thankful I am for them.

Movie Recommendation: Seven Psychopaths

Every now and then I find a movie I've never heard of before which totally blows my mind. This was the case with "Seven Psychopaths". My boyfriend wanted to watch this movie, so when I started watching it I expected either a horror movie or a bad comedy. But the more the movie progressed, the more often I found myself thinking "Man, this stuff is really good".

"Seven Psychopaths" was released in 2012. It's about an aspiring writer Marty Faranan, played by Colin Farrell, who wants to write a screenplay with the title "Seven Psychopaths". As research his best friend Billy Bickle, who's hands down the best character in this movie, puts an ad in the newpaper asking for real life psychopaths.

And then things get weird. Marty's screenplay and reality collide in a way that leaves it long uncertain which version is the real one. It reminded me of the equally brilliant movie "Stranger than Fiction", just a lot more bloody. It also reminded me a bit of Quentin Tarantino movies because just as Tarantino loves to do, "Seven Psychopaths" is built like a puzzle which is only completed in the end.

"Seven Psychopaths" did several things to me. For me a criteria of a good movie is that it has plot twists which make me think "Well, I didn't see that coming" and "Seven Psychopaths" is this kind of movie. It also made me want to write a screenplay regardless of the fact that I know absolutely nothing about screenwriting. And it made me laugh out loud. Because in the end "Seven Psychopaths" is just absolutely hilarious.

Is this what being a grown up is like?

This week I organized two readings and three shows. You might remember from my previous blog posts that I have only held the position as a PR lady at a publishing house for a month now and that I have no experience in PR whatsoever.

The first show I organized on my own was an erotic evening in Munic. And every possible thing that could go wrong, went wrong. The dancers arrived late because I wasn't precise enough about when they had to be there. I forgot to send them the program. Everyone was stressed out and the atmosphere was really tense.

The second show was in a different city and was a lot better but it was also smaller.

The third show was held in my home by choice Tübingen and it was bigger. Around 150 people attendend, and I had to sell the tickets and the books and take photos. I was running around constantly trying to solve all the little problems that arose each minute. It was a beautiful show. We had a fantastic burlesque dancer, a comedian, authors, a singer and a piano player. The show was set in an old cinema with red chairs and a decor right out of the 50s. But I couldn't really enjoy it because there was so much to do.

Today I lay on the couch with my boyfriend and I told him that I feel bad for making so many mistakes and that I feel like I couldn't measure up to the expectations of my boss and the dancers and authors. I felt so overwhelmed. I never really learned what I am supposed to do. Everyone just expects me to know how these things work. But I don't. I still have to learn every little part of it and it's a lot to learn in such a short time.

I wondered: Is this what being a grown up is like? To constantly worry and be tense and be stressed and have all this responsibility, all this pressure, all this anxiety to fail? Will this be how I spend the rest of my life?

My boyfriend said: Roads don't always lead straight away to your destination. They have turns and detours and sometimes you get lost. But this was your first time. Noone has the right to expect you to be perfect. Next time you'll try again. And you'll do better. If you still have to learn things, this is a good sign. This is what you're supposed to do. This is what brings you forward.

So I decided to believe him and to move forward.