#Readmyowndamnbookschallenge End of the Year Update

I'm proud to say that I only bought one book since the last update and the author signed it, so I think that's allowed. But the pile of unread books in my room is still pretty big. In the last months I managed to read three books. Here they are:

Peter Kurth - Isadora Duncan

This is a huge biography of the dancer Isadora Duncan and I have to admit, I didn't read the entire thing, yet - that's pretty much impossible. But I did read quite a bit and it was interesting. Isadora Duncan definitely had a spectacular life. She's only in her early adult years at the point of the book I'm at, but she already lived in San Fancisca, Chicago, New York, London, Munic, St. Petersburg, somewhere in Italy and several other places I forgot. Isadora and her family came from nothing, literally almost starving to death and it was just her incredible talend which kept them alive. First she struggled to get jobs or got some which weren't paid. It's sad to think that in the creative field when you're starting out, it's still the same after all these centuries. You still don't get paid often times, just with "exposure" which is ridicolous. But soon she swept everyone away with her extraordinary dancing and became famous.

Biographies are often very technical about the famous person's profession. Like biographies about musicians will include a lot of detailed musical description which is always a bit hard to understand and also boring for me. With dancing it's different. I know a lot more about dancing than about music, as I've been dancing on and off since I was six years old and have consumed numerous dance movies etc. So I actually found the technical stuff in this book fascinating. Also I totally agree with Isadora's opinion that classical ballet is unnatural because the body is not designed to do the things ballet requires. She broke free from these restrictions and created her own dance which was based on the old Greeks. Her whole family was obsessed with Ancient Greece and I love that this is also a big part of the book. For dance fans this biography is a great read!

Marian Keyes - Sushi for Beginners

This is a rather untypical book for me to read. I'm not so much into contemporary stuff, but as I've been having a really tough time with Fantasy lately (I just couldn't get into it at all) I chose to read this book, which was waiting to be read on my booksshelf anyway. It's about a group of (mostly) women who start a new women's magazine in Dublin. They try to create something fabolous in a not so fabolous place. As journalism is a passion of mine and women's magazines have been in my thoughts a lot this year (while thinking about my own future) this was right up my sleeve. I was a bit disappointed though that the magazine itself is rather a plot device and the novel actually tells private the stories of the women working on it and their friends. I'm still not sure what the main story of this book was, which is never a good thing.

With that said, it was still an entertaining and very pleasant read. It felt good to finally read something I can find myself in. Of the three main characters, I really liked the editor in chief, Lisa. First she's introduced as this heartless career person but the author did a nice job in showing that she's just human and has her own vulnerabilities. Her strength in difficult times was truly inspiring and something to look up to.

Teri Terry - Mind Games

I've been a fan of Teri Terry since her Slated trilogy, which are still the best dystopia YA books you can find. When I saw that Teri Terry will be coming to the bookfair, of course I had to meet her, buy a book and have it signed. The lady selling the books recommended this own to me (though there are still many more books by Teri Terry I haven't read) and because it's a standalone I took it. It did not disappoint. Mind Games is set in a future where society mostly takes place in virtual worlds. The protagonist refuses first to take part in this even if it makes her a social outcast with no future, until she's sucked into the evil plans and problems of several evil groups.

This book was very well plotted. Just like in Slated Teri Terry managed to show that neither side of a fight (neither the government nor the rebels) are per se the good ones. It was thrilling and all the plotlines actually came together in the end. When I first started reading it, I had trouble sleeping and had nightmares, so I paused it for a while. Don't get me wrong. Mind Games is not horror, not at all! It's not scary but I was alone at home and the whole not-knowing-what's-real thing freaks me out anyway. Once my boyfriend was back from vacation I continued it and had no problems with it anymore. It's not Fantasy at all, but rather Sci Fi but it helped me to get into the genres again.

What I'm reading now: Marc Elsberg - Zero

After Mind Games I really wanted to use the Sci Fi momentum and go further in this direction. My Mum gave me this book months ago, so I decided why not give it a try. And it's fantastic! It's not Sci Fi but a thriller about technology and not only touches it many important topics and trends of our time and makes you think but also is it extremly well built! As I'm not through with it, yet, I'm not gonna say any more right now, but I can't stop reading it.

#Readmyowndamnbooks Challenge 2017 - End of May Update

You might remember that this year I'm participating in the Read My Own Damn Books Challenge. Last time I posted about it, I owned 38 unread books. That was in February. I have read five of those books so far, but I also collected 14 more books I have yet to read. I know, this is a lot. But hey, there was a book festival in my town with a huge book fleemarket all over town and I went a bit nuts. But it's so worth it.

Books I've Read

Bob Dylan - Chronicals: This book is not on the picture because I already gave it to my Mum so she can read it. But I did finish it and it was fine. It was tough at times but it was still interesting and well written. I like Bob Dylan's writing, not only in his songs but also his autobiography. For a true fan of his this book would be paradise because he explains how some of his many many songs were created, but as I don't really know his work that well, sometimes I got a bit bored.

Adalbert Stifter - Rock Chrystal: Wow, I almost forgot that I also read this book because I had to read it for school anyway. My boyfriend wanted me to read it for years because he thinks my writing can use more descriptions of landscapes like Stifter does them. But the descriptions of landscape where the hardest parts in this book during which I was so bored. The main plot of two kids getting lost was cute though and the end almost made me cry.

John Green - Looking for Alaska: I know, this is a very very unpopular opinion but I hated this book. I had my issues with John Green in the past. His books were actually one of my 10 Things I Hate That Everyone Else Loves back in 2015. Which is a shame as I adore him and his brother Hank and all the amazing things they do on You Tube, as well as their podcast and their community. I think those two are fantastic! But John Green's literature? Not so much.

Then I read "Paper Towns" and I actually like it. A lot. It was very well constructed and written, the characters were well created and it was exciting and honest and heartwarming - everything a youth novel is supposed to be. So I thought: Why not give another of his books a chance?

I chose "Looking for Alaska" and it reminded me of all the things I hate about John Green. Which is truly just one thing: untimely and totally unnessecary dramatic plot twists which turn a book into a depressing piece of work. Don't get me wrong. I still think that he is a very talented author. In fact I enjoyed the first half of "Looking for Alaska" very much. It was smart and funny and sweet. It was fun. But then the plot twist happened and it felt so out of place and random that I just couldn't stand it. I think he's wasting his obvious talent on plotlines like this. But a lot of people love his literature and that's fine. It's just not my thing.

Val Williams - Photography. Understanding 80 masterpieces: This book collects 80 famous photographs and explains shortly how they were constructed and what makes them stand out. As I am interested in photography I found this book very inspiring and interesting.

John Cleland - Fanny Hill: So, this book is the reason I haven't ticked of more books of my list because it took me almost two months to read it. For such a tiny book that's a lot. Many times I wanted to quit (which I have no problem in doing, I actually quit "Looking for Alaska") but I was interested in where the story is going, so I kept reading even if it was really tough at times.

"Fanny Hill" is the (probably fake) memoir of a prostitute. It's from the 18th century which means that it's written in an old English which was difficult to read at times. On the other hand it describes sexual scenes extremely explicitely. This combination is kind of intruiging even if the old language won't allow any erotic feelings. There are several things in this book which makes me think that a story like this could never ever be published today. But I appreciate how honest it is.

Books I Bought

Marguerite Duras - Hiroshima Mon Amour: To be honest, I have no idea what this is about. But it is a screenplay which I enjoy reading for simple pleasure as well as improving my own screenwriting. It was only 2€ so I thought, why not give it a try?

Marian Keyes - Sushi for Beginners: I saw this book at the fleemarket and all I read on the back was that she's an editor at a women's magazine. As this is one of my dream jobs, this was enough reason to buy it.

Philipp Schmidt - Schattengewächse. Auftakt: I'm pretty sure that this is only available in German. It's the first book of a dystopia book series about how mega companies are controlling the world and apparently some people living in the underground have magical powers. I actually went to a reading of the author. I had some issues with a couple of minor things in his writing but the concept is interesting, so my friend and I bought the book together. Also it was published by a little publishing house in my city which consists of some dudes in my age who are super nice and aparently founded this publishing house solely for this author.

Peter Kurth - Isadora: This is a gigentic biography of Isadora Duncan, the dancer. I was always fascinated by her, so when I saw this book for 1€ in a bookstore in London, I took it as a sign.

Joanna Rakoff - My Salinger Year: I also bought this in London. I think I heard some good things about it though I don't remember what and where. But I like Salinger and on the back it said it's like Lena Dunham for the literature scene, so this sounds good enough.

Kiera Cass - Selection: I can't tell you how often I thought about reading this book and then decided otherwise because I'm not really into literature where a love story is in the center. But the girl who sold it at the fleemarket talked so highly of it that I decided to give it a chance. It's YA dystopia.

Janne Teller - Nothing: I had this book in my hand several times at book stores but never bought it because it was too expensive. Now I found it for 1€. I'm not sure what it's about. I think its Youth Literature and got good reviews.

Alexandra Fontzen, Axel Stähler - Das Gelobte Land: This is a Non Fiction book about Israel. I have been strangely fascinated with Israel lately, so when my friend found this book at the fleemarket I immediately bought it because I want to know more about the history of Israel.

Inka's History: Bought this during my amazing vacation to Peru to learn more about the Inkas. I already started reading it and it's fascinating.

Books I Got As A Gift

Plato - Collected Edition. Part 1: I'm sorry but this should actually be under this section, because I didn't buy it but found it in a box with free books in front of my college. I have already read some works of Plato, so I thought it can't be bad to read some more.

Syd Field - Screenplay: One of my plans for the next years is to learn screenwriting. I already did a class at my university and it was really cool but to be honest all I've learned was how incredibly hard screenwriting is. So I'm in need for some addtional training. My friend found this book somewhere on the street and gave it to me. Well, if this isn't a sign that I'm destined to write the next Oscar winning screenplay, I don't know what is. ;)

Marc Elsberg - Zero: This is a book by a German author which my Mum gave me. I don't really know what to expect but the last book my Mum gave me was "The Circle" by Dave Eggers which was mind-blowing, and not only does that prove that my Mum has an awesome taste in literature (which i obviously inherited from her) but she said it's like "The Circle" just even freakier. I'm looking forward to this read.

Ravi Zacharias, Norman Geisler - Wer schuf den Schöpfer?: The title of this book means "Who created the creator?" and I found it on the street on my way to the reading of Philipp Schmidt, who's book I listed above. Lately I have studied religion rather intensely, both for school as well as out of personal interested. This book talks about critical questions concerning religions which is perfectly in my spectrum of interest.

What I'm Reading Right Now

Holly Smale - Geek Girl. Forever Geek: This is the finale book in the Geek Girl series about a nerdy girl turned model which I also bought in a second hand book store in London. I've read the first two books of the series and then skipped about five, but I don't think it matters. I started reading it a couple of days ago and it's so funny and light and fun and such a great relaxation compared to the stuff I have to read for school.

--- From these books I want to read soon: Geek Girl, Zero, Inka's History, Selection, Schattengwächse, Sushi for Beginners ---

--- From the other books I still have I want to read soon: The lost honor of Katherina Blum, Ich hab die Unschuld kotzen sehen, Die Nacht der Masken, Die Zeit vor der Zeit, Inside WikiLeaks ---

So now I'm owning 47 books.

A Step for Step Guide: How to write a paper for university

I have just finished and handed in two papers for university, one on horror movies, the second one on a book about a war photographer. Both were truly interesting but also a lot of work but still I managed to finish them in one month, while working on them daily. Why? Believe it or not, though I love some chaos every now and then and highly depend on my friends when planning anything, in a weird way I am also extremely organized. I love scheduling my tasks, I even love to do lists, and I couldn't survive without my planner!

Along the way I picked up a few things about writing and finishing a paper for school successfully which I like to share with you today. Of course there are differences in the process of writing a paper depending on your major and also every one has to find what works best for them in the end, but I hope this will inspire and motivate you nevertheless.

1. Research, research, research

The first thing to do is to read a massive amount of primary and secondary literature. For a literature student like me this includes fiction but most of it is theoretical non-fiction. The best to do is to decide about what you want to write about as early as possible in the semester. Ideal is when you start reading during the semester, so that you have more time during the break.

The important thing here is this: Don't just read. Underline and comment what you read. You will read hundreds of pages and if you don't add markings, your work will be worth nothing because you will basically have to re-read the whole thing once you start writing in order to plan and pick out the important points. So underline everything which seems important to you and put comments next to the texts with your thoughts, ideas and two word summaries of the line you just underlined. Believe me this will make it so much easier for you! I do this all throughout the semester with everything I read. It might take me a bit longer to read like this but it enables me to find important passages and lines so much quicker.

2. Find your question/thesis

Before starting to write you have to know what you are trying to say in the end. Know where you want to land before starting your journey. I usually have a question about my topic which is also the title of my paper. The question combines theory and method with the thing you are analysing. So it could be something like: How can I apply this theory and this method to this thing? Or: Does this thing proove or disprove the theory and the effectiveness of this method?

Also for me it's important to already know the answer to the question. Usually while you read you already get a strong idea of your opinion of this topic. So please, have an opinion. Know what you are trying to say. Know if the theory and method works for this thing or not. Once you know where you want to go, you can figure out how to get there.

3. Create an outline

How you will get there, is exactly what you will put to paper while making an outline. Plan your chapters from the introcution to the conclusion. Use as many sub-chapters as you like, you can always delete some later. Here's how an outline might look:

Introduction: what are you analysing and what are you trying to find out
Theory: summarize important theoretical concepts and explain notions you are going to use
Method: explain what method you are going to use and why
Analysis: this should be the biggest part of your paper, here are all your arguments, all your quotes and all your main points. it should have several sub-points.
Conclusion: what do you conlude from your analysis?
Bibliography: list all the texts you are referring to and quoting

4. Use symbols and abbrevations to sort your material

Once you have an outline, the most difficult part is over. Now all you have to do is follow this outline and turn it into a paper. I use abbrevations to mark all the important points in the literature I read, symbols might work as well. Here's how I do it: I assign one letter to each point of my outline. (Make sure to not assign the same letter to several points. I have done this repeatedly and it's confusing as hell!) Then I go though every single page I've read again and mark everything I underlined and commented with the correct letter according to the chapter this fits in the best.

5. Start writing

5.1. Put post-its on the pages with the letter of the chapter you are currently working on

By doing this, you will only have to go through all your literature once and then you can just skip to the post-it. Use actual sticky post-its. I tried to do this with non sticky bookmarks and they kept falling out which doubled and tripled my work. While putting in the post-its, read the lines you underlined and the comments you inserted again to see which info you have to work with in this chapter.

5.2. Make a plan for this chapter

Yes, I love plans and I would never ever start writing anything without a plan first. So while I put in the post-its I already got an overview of the content I am trying to include into this chapter. Now I write a little note for every argument and info I am including on a blank piece of paper. Then I am giving the notes numbers according to the order in which I will mention them.

5.3. Finally actually start writing

Now lay out your plan for your chapter as well as your literature next to you and start writing. Just start with the first note from your plan, open the pages with the post-its which fit to this point, put in the quote or reference, then continue with the next note. And so one. Do this until you have finished the chapter. It's all already there in your plan. All you have to do is to connect the points with some "furthermore"s and "in consequences"s. Make sure to cross out the letter/abbrevation/symbol of a line/info you have already used and to check the notes on your plan you have written about.

5.4. Read through what you have just written

When you've finished writing this chapter, read through it again. Correct all grammatical and spelling errors you notice. Make sure that what you have written is comprehensive and makes sense. Look up all words, dates, facts, etc. you are not absolutely sure about. I also highlight the citations which belong to the quotes and references I used, so that it's easier to spot them later, when I turn them into footnotes.

5.5. Repeat this process with every chapter of your paper

6. Write the introduction

I always write the introduction after I have written the actual paper, just to make sure that I don't announce something in the introduction which I don't follow through later.

7. Read through the whole thing, take notes and write the conclusion

Now read everything you have written so far and write down notes of everything which is important to mention in the conclusion. Connect the notes in a way which enables you to come to the conclusion you had in mind all the time right from the beginning. Put the notes in order and you have your plan for the conlusion. Now write the conclusion and read through it afterwards.

8. Insert the title page, the index and the bibliography

9. Insert the footnotes

So this is the most annoying and time consuming step. For every single reference and qupte you used, and you should have used a ton of them!, you have to insert a footnote. Which quoting system you use, depends on the country you live in, the standards of your university and the preferences of your teacher. But make sure to follow this system exactly - I mean down to every point and comma. Grind your teeth, insert your hundreds of footnotes, read through them again to make sure you really got every comma right and then pour yourself a glass of wine because this step is really exhausting.

10. Proofread the entire thing once more

Pay attention one last time while you proofread your paper once more, preferably after having let it sit for a day or two. Correct all grammar and spelling mistakes and look everything up you're not sure about. Also double-check all technical terms and names. There's nothing more embarrasing than writing the name of someone you refer to wrong.

11. Insert the date when you will hand it in on your title page, as well as the page numbers into the content and into the index, and check with your professor in which form (printed or digital) he wants to receive the paper.

12. Hand it in and then go get yourself some icecream!

Book reviews - Bookfair addition

I am back from my lovely vacation and ready for a new year of blogging. I will post a review of my year 2016 soon, but for now I'll start with a book review. In October I attended Europe's biggest bookfair and (pretty randomly) picked up three books I've never heard of before. I've read them all by now and here are the reviews (in the order I've read them, not the quality of the books).

Girl on the Net: How a bad girl fell in love

This was so much fun! How a bad girl fell in love is romance/erotica which is usually not my genre at all but when I saw it in the shelf it looked really cool. And I was so right.

The author, Girl on the Net, is a british sex blogger and this is (as far as I can tell) her debut novel, in which she tells about her extravagant sexcapades, about falling in love and about life in a long term relationship. Usually I couldn't care less about love novels, but this book was truly fantastic! It was everything. It's hiliarious and smart and sexy and it has a refreshing truth. There are very explicit sex scenes but then there are also brutally honest descriptions of everyday problems. Reading this book was like talking to a dear friend who just gets it: love, sex, life, everything.

Michael Grant: Messenger of Fear

When I've seen that Michael Grant has a book series (well it's only two books) which I didn't know about, I just had to have the first book. I've read two series by Michael Grant before, one was BZRK which was interesting and smart but lost it's intensity a bit in the second book, the other one was the Gone series which is wonderful with a sometimes confusing but all in all sound plot and great, mult-dimensional characters. So I had high hopes for Messenger of Fear but I have to say I was so disappointed.

First of all, it has an unreliable narrator which is a device I always find a bit annoying. The story is told by a girl who wakes up in a weird world with no memories and somehow moves from event to event as some kind of apprentice of a supernatural creature. Yes, it's really weird. But the worst part was that she is so naive and blind. At least in the middle of the book readers know who she really is because there are signs everywhere. The big reveal at the end is so obvious and predictable. But still the main character just doesn't get it. Which is frustrating to follow. It's a short, quick read but still I had to fight through it and I just kept going out of respect for the author's previous work.

Sally Gardner: The door that led to where

I really didn't expect anything from this book. The title is really confusing and to be honest, the only reason I picked it up, was because it said it is a story about two Londons and I was just reading A darker shade of magic at that time, and it sounded similar. It is different but it is just as well, maybe better, you can't really compare the two books as A darker shade of magic is for adults and The door that led to where is YA. But it's good. Really good. I was surprised by how much I liked it.

The story is about a high school graduate who finds a job at a law firm. There he finds a key with his name engraved which leads to London of the 19th century and he soon is caught up in adventures between the times. It's a clever and original fantasy novel but what I loved most about it wasn't even the fantasy bit. It was how real it felt. The main character and his friends and family are from a poor area of London. Their lives are marked by poverty and crime and hopelessness. But still they are the most awesome people you know, They understand friendship and love and loyality and they fight for what they want against all odds. They are really diverse and multi-layered, perfectly created. They are the kind of characters you wish you could be friends with in real life and isn't this the best literature can do?

Have you read any of these books? How did you like them?

Book recommendation: The magicians 1+2 by Lev Grossman

In November 2015 I felt really down and annoyed by my life. There was a huge tower of problems building up in front of me and - like every sane person - I chose to ignore it and read a sensationally good book instead. I've read The Magicians by Lev Grossman in 2014, but it was only one year later that I read the second book of the trilogy The Magicians King. And let me tell you it's equally fantastic.

If your a fantasy book fan in your twenties and you're looking for a book full of magic and wonders but you also want to find yourself in it with all your hopes and dreams and quarterlife crisis, then The Magicians series is for you. Those books are hands down the best adult fantasy books I've ever read. They're basically Harry Potter, just with a LOT more sex, depression, betrayal, irony and swear words.

Book 1: The Magicians

In book 1 The Magicians we meet Quentin, a pretty mediocre High School graduate, grumpy, arrogant and a bit of an idiot, who attends a college for magic. During his studies there he learns that magic is pretty much limitless (for his exam project he attempts to fly to the moon - like he was Superman - but fails. but still it would have been possible, if he wasn't such a half-ass person) and therefore extremely dangorous.
After graduating Quentin and his friends live in New York and because they could literally do EVERYTHING because they're magicians and can make things happen or make them appear out of thin air, they decide to do nothing. They hang around aimlessly in their apartment, drink a lot (seriously they're all alcoholics), party, have sex and waste their time, like every twentysomething does sometimes.
That is until their nerd classmate Penny announces that he has found a way to another dimension. And not any dimension, but the dimension Fillory which happens to be the world in which Quentin's favorite childhood books were set in (which of course turn out to be true). So they go their and fight the absolutely terrifying Beast.

Book 2: The Magicians King

Book 2 The Magicians King is a bit different. The book starts in Fillory where Quentin and his friends are now kings and queens. Quentin and his friend Julia are accidently transported back to Earth and they try to find their way back. Then they go on a quest to save magic.
But the special thing about book 2 is that half of the book is dedicated to Julia's story. Julia was Quentin's High School crush who was far too cool for him. But then he was accepted to magic university and she wasn't. We meet her once again in book 1 when she started dressing like a gothic bride and is thin and sick and begs Quentin to teach her magic but he refuses. That's the last we heard from her in book 1.
In book 2 (when we've already forgotten about her) she is brought back into the plot and every second chapter tells her story. Turns out after Quentin refused to teach her magic, she had to learn it through the underground magic scene which is a world full of drugs and prostitution. Her story is abolutely disturbing and brutal. But it feels real. Julia's story was my favourite thing about book 2, except maybe the end, which was also brilliant.

When you start reading Lev Grossman, you have to be warned. His books are like no other books, espeacially not like other fantasy books. This is because of the three aspects which I admire most about his work.

1. The characters are extremely messed up. 

None of the main characters are in any way likable. Quentin is mostly an asshole. Eliot is an arrogant, broken alcoholic. Janet is what you call an attention whore. Alice is a narrow-minded control freak. Julia is simply an absolute wreck. And it goes on like this. But this is what makes The Magicians, despite its sometimes fairytale-like stories, close to real life.
Real people aren't heroes. They're insecure and condescending and scared and stupid and that's excactly how Lev Grossman created his characters. They have real life problems. They fall in love, they get heartbroken, they break hearts. They make mistakes. The have existential crises. They are hot-tempered and make awful decisions. They're inperfect in any way. But that's what makes them beautiful. Interesting characters aren't heroes. They're people with edges which the readers identify with. And the characters in The Magicians are just that.

2. The Magicians goes further than other fantasy books.

 Though all fantasy books play with the impossible, with magic, the supernatural, the godly, Lev Grossman goes further. He explores other dimensions. He kills off people because of a stupid mistake. He lets his charaters fly to the moon or hike to the North Pole or sail to the end of the world. For him magic is truely  limitless. He lets them mess with gods. The plot of The Magicians is never predictable because there are so many fucked up twists and turns and there are concepts and plotlines you couldn't even imagine.

3. Lev Grossman's writing style is really rough. 

Honestly, he sounds more like a blogger than a book author. When I read The Magicians I feel like my drunk friend with bad manners is telling me a story. He swears A LOT. And he talks like only a generation which grew up with the internet know how to. He talks like us. Millenials. And it doesn't come across as cheap but it actually fits the characters extremely well. Also it gives the reader the feeling that here someone is talking to us, who is just like us. With this Lev Grossman manages to capture the essence of things, the essence of life, of humanity, so accurately, that it's abolutely brutal. And brilliant.

So please, give The Magicians trilogy a try. Adult fantasy literature won't get any better than this.

Writing Is Hard - 2 Lessons I Learned from Writing a Novel

I am writing a novel. This might sound like life-changing news but in truth this was quite a common thing for me to announce in the past. I have several half-finished novels on my computer. But this time it's different. This time it's real. I'm writing a youth novel and I will complete it and someday I'll publish it.

What's different this time? How do I know that this one novel idea is the one that's going to make it? Well, it's like with relationships. I just know. People ask me how do I know if my boyfriend is the one? When we've been together for almost a year, we got into a huge fight. It was awful and I expected it to end because that's how it went in the past. But despite everything we got through it. We went on and our love grew only stronger. That's when I knew.

I had a couple of other ideas for a novel which I wanted to work on. But then, one day, I found an old exposé I wrote some years before. I read it, a High School story full of intrigues and false friends and manipulation and a glimmer of hope. It was still very different from the book I'm working on now. But when I read it, I knew that this was it. This is the story I will make into a book. And since then I have been writing, editing, taking a course, learning, plotting, and so on.

The difference between this idea and all the others I had, is that I believe in it. Therefore I am willing to put an enormous amount of work into it in order to make it work. You know, how you dream of writing a novel but then you don't find the motivation to sit down and actually write it? Well, that's because your idea sucks. If even you, the creator of the story, don't want to write it, then why would anyone want to read it? This is the first lesson I learned so far through my experience of writing a novel.

You have to believe in your idea.

Once you found a story worth telling, that's when the real work begins.

Yes, writing is hard. You will pour your heart out on the page, just to re-read it and find that it's absolutely awful. There will be some ugly days when you want to give up. But you have to keep writing. Because one day your work is going to suck a little less.

That's the state I am in now. My draft is not ridicolously bad anymore but it's also not magnificent. And that's what I'm aiming for. Magnificent. I want to write the best book I can possibly write. And I'm still a far away from that. On some days I read my work and I want to instantly delete it all (sometimes I do). Then on other days I read it, and suddenly it's not that bad anymore. As writers we write and re-write and edit and read our own words so often, that at some point everything starts sounding like shit. When this happens, for me the best thing to do is to share my work.

I'm taking a writing class at my university and it really challenges me. I'm so nervous when I have to present my work. And sometimes I get eaten alive by the crticism. But still, it helps me more than anything. Not only does my work get better through sharing it and improving it according to the advice of my professor and classmates, but it also motivates me immensely. After all, my novel is meant to be read. And here people read it and they don't think that it's a piece of shit. Sharing my work gives me confidence by shattering my novel (and with it me) into pieces and then slowly building it up again. So, that's the second lesson I learned while writing my first novel:

Share your work.

Happy writing!

My Book Soup

I read somewhere that as an aspiring writer you should put together a Book Soup which contains of five books by authors you admire and who inspire your writing. It is no secret that what you read greatly influences what and how you write. There are books which I read for their thrilling story and there are books which I read for their good writing. To find a book which has both qualities is extremely rare. I feel like beautiful writing often gets in the way of a direct and exciting storyline.

My Book Soup contains of 5 books by authors who I admire for their writing. I have to clarify, that I will never write like anyone of them and that I don't even want to, because I feel like I have to go in a slightly different direction (I am currently writing my first book, which is a youth novel, YA literature has its own rules after all). But they are still 5 of the best books I have ever read and though I am not persuing their writing style, those books have on many levels influenced my own writing and my life in general.

So witout furter ado, here my Book Soup:

1. "The Great Gatsby" by F. Scott Fitzgerald

I have to admit that I have read this piece of classic literature some months ago for the first time, and only after I saw the sparkling, glamorous movie by Baz Luhrman. But I see now why everyone should read this book at least once in their life.
"The Great Gatsby" is a glorious example of genius storytelling, Fitzgerald truly was a master at that. I admire this novel for its simple, straightforward story, which pulls you in and leaves you amazed by a beautiful story full of love, fame, hope, fear and betrayal (the very things which make the world go round) on less than 200 sites. This is an art I am trying to learn.

2. "On the road" by Jack Kerouac

This book has not only influenced my writing but it shattered my whole world, leaving not one piece where it was. I read this book for the first time when I was 17 shortly before I graduated High School and it captured the promise of life itself so perfectly. It's because of Jack Kerouac that I am planning a roadtrip from the East Cost to the West Cost of the US in 2017. It's because of him that I dream bigger and want to write novels, not only short stories. It's because of him I love to travel and meet new people, being fascinated by the crazy ones instead of judging them. During the las 6 years I have read "On the road" at least 5 times and, though I identify each time with a different character, it leaves me with the feeling that anything is possible every single time.
I think this is what a great book is supposed to do. Though while reading it you experience trauma, loss and desperation at the side of you favorite characters time after time, in the end it should leave the reader somehow empowered so that he or she will live their life differently from now on. To one day write something which will change the way someone lives their life is my biggest dream. I would never write in such long sentences like Jack Kerouac (though they are without question incredibly beautiful) but still "On the road" is the kind of literature which influences my writing more than anything else.

3. "The catcher in the rye" by J.D.Salinger

This book is another American classic which lives from its straightforward way of telling a story. I read this book in a night and it moved me so much. In cotrast to "The Great Gatsby" where a whole life story is told, "A catcher in the rye" tells nothing more than the story of a teenage boy who spends a couple of days in New York and who's fed up with the world. But at the same time it tells the story of the whole world.
In this one character there is so much to learn about society, about history and about growing up. It broke my heart to see the hopelessness of human nature reflected in this one boy. "The catcher in the rye" influenced how I create characters and how I tell their stories through certain characteristics they have rather than by simply writing down the plot.

4. "The beach" by Alex Garland

A friend told me some months ago that if I like "On the road" I should also read "The beach". I spent two months looking for it in bookstores here in Germany but I couldn't find it anywhere. Then on my vacation to Helsinki this summer I found it on a fleemarket. And my friend was right. "The beach" is a beautiful book on so many levels.
Firstly it's written beautifully with wonderful sentences, choosing the perfect words to create a piece of art. I underlined so many sentences while reading this book. Secondly the main character Richard has the rare quality to be a person the reader would never want to be friends with in real life, someone who can't be trusted, who's escentric, even a bit crazy, but still the reader hopes for him to survive and to find his way, he roots for him, simply because the way he is written is so convinving. There's nothing wrong with a likable protagonist but creating a protagonist who the reader dislikes but still roots for is the best it can get in literature. Thridly "The beach" simply has an amazing plot, full of action and suprises and suspense. When I read it I felt like I was on the best trip of my life for three quarter of the book, just to find myself in a nightmare in the last quarter of the book. A story which suprises always wins.

5. "A million little pieces" by James Frey

Besides Jack Kerouac, James Frey is probably my second favorite author and it's solely because of this book. "A million little pieces" is the story of Frey's time in a rehab clinic after being a heavy drug user and alcoholic. It was greatly critzised because apparently it's not a true memoir because Frey excagerate some thing but this doesn't mean that its any less of a genius book.
"A million little pieces" truely lives from the writing which completely pulls in the reader. While reading it I cried and laughed and I even physically felt the pain the main character has to go through. "A million little pieces" is an absolutely brutal book. It will hurt you, shatter you emotionally and it will not, in any way, leave you with a good feeling. But it will make you feel so intensely as if you lived through the story yourself. This is what a great book is made of.

What's in your book soup?

On the brilliance of Sirius Black

I am currently re-reading Harry Potter 5 again (because life's too short to not re-read your favorite books every couple of years). And I wanted to write a post about my favourite character of all time, but then I realized I already did this on my old blog. So, no harm in posting it again because it is as true as ever:

On the brilliance of Sirius Black
(originally posted on http://sunitaanja.buzznet.com/user/journal/17485940/brilliance-sirius-black/ at March 22, 2014)

Yesterday I've seen a picture of some children and teachers dressing up as their favorite book character. And I wondered: Who is my favorite book character? I have read a lot of books so it's hard to choose but I realized that without doubt my all time favorite character is Sirius Black from the Harry Potter series.

I believe that Sirius Black is just perfectly created by J.K.Rowling.

He is the ultimate tragic hero. He grew up in a family obsessed with dark magic which he despised. He was always the odd boy in his family, at last when he was sorted into Griffindor instead of Slitherin. But in Griffindor he met James Potter who offered him a better life. You can learn from Sirius and Remus Lupin talking about old times and from Snape's memory in book 5 that James and Sirius were popular boys. Sirius was this good looking, easy going rebel-type. He and James both dedicated their lives to fighting dark magic which means for Sirius that he fought his own family.

But then Sirius lost his best friend, James Potter, who he would have died for. And even worse he was accused for James' death and was sent to the most horrific prison ever where gruesome creatures slowly sucked his soul out of him. But Sirius managed to escape and now made it his new life goal to protect James' only son Harry Potter. He had to hide but he manged to join up with Harry. After three years being "free", he was murdered by his own cousin.

Sirius is such an incredible sad character that it is suprising that he still remains so charming and energetic. I mean, it can't be denied that everything that happened to him broke him physically and mentally and that it made him bitter and depressed. But Sirius never stopped fighting. And the unconditional love he had once given James he then gave Harry. Sirius was the only family Harry ever had and he, in fact, died for him.

Sirius is loving and caring. He is also often described as extremely impulsive, reckless and hot-tempered. I adore his personality so much because he is such a complex person. He is truely loyal and righteous but at the same time he is always on the urge of exploding and picking a fight.

Every character I read about has to measure with Sirius Black and noone compares to him. He inspired my own writing a lot.

I mean Harry Potter has many awesome characters (Harry, Remus Lupin, Ginny, Bellatrix Black etc) but it is in Sirius Black were J.K. Rolling has really created a masterpiece. It's no wonder she dedicated a whole book to him (Harry Potter and the prisoner of Askaban). My favorite Harry Potter book is book 5 because Sirius is so present in this book. Even if he is not there, he is always there for Harry and he has definetly shaped Harry into a stronger person.

I've read that J.K. Rowling originally intended to kill of Arthur Weasley in book 5 but then switched to Sirius Black because she was afraid of what his father's death would do to Ron Weasly and she feared that he would loose his humor which defines him. Harry was never  humorous but always very serious and sad, so that Sirius' death just contributed to his obsession with killing Voldemort.

Book Review: Endgame - The Calling

Since I first heard of "Endgame" I was determined to read it for four reasons.

First, the cover looks really cool (yes, I do judge a book by its cover).
Second, I'm a big sucker of apocalypse stories.
Third, I find it an interesting concept that Endgame is not only a book series but also a real life treasure hunt (500,000$ if you solve the clues of the first book).
Fourth, it is written by James Frey.

Since I've read James Frey's (partly) memoir "A million little pieces" I've fallen in love with his style of writing. I have written a blog about this book before, where I explain how it may not be everyone's cup of tea but how it made me feel with the main character to my bones. It was horryfying and brutal and it totally blew my mind.

This is why when I first started reading "Endgame - The Calling" I was disappointed by the writing. In "Endgame" there is absolutely none of Frey's literally finess and his unique way to phrase thoughts. This might be because it was co-written by an author named Nils Johnson-Shelton (who might be a children book writer as far as I know). Also "Endgame" is after all a young adult novel and is therefore, like most young-adult books, written in very simple language.

So if the writing can't take my breath away, the story has to take care of this.

And it does.

"Endgame" is set in the near future where several meteors hit Earth announcing the beginning of the apocalypse. 12 prededetermined Players are fighting to win Endgame because of the 12 oldest human people only one will survive and each Player is fighting for his people to survive.

As there are many major characters the book starts a bit slow, spending a lot of time on introducing the characters and explaining the idea of "Endgame". But after about 200 pages "Endgame" turns into one of these books that you can't put down because you keep telling yourself "Just one more chapter" but then the chapter opens up another intersting plot line and you keep reading "Just one more chater" to see how this will turn out and so on and on.

Towards the end of the book I found myself reading faster and faster because I just needed to kow what will happen next but at the same time I didn't want the book to end because it was that good.

Endgame is one of these books that takes you away to a parallel universe and makes you forget each and everyone of your worries. It sucks you up and occupies your mind. This is the exact thing which I love about fantasy literature.

So if you're into apocalytic literature and are also fond of mythology, "Endgame" is for you.

Have you read "Endgame"? Tell me about your thoughts!

A New Start

What I love most about blogging is being inspired by others and inspiring them right back. This is exactly what I'm looking for with this blog.

I have been blogging for 4 years on Buzznet and I have changed and developped so much with and through this experience. I was part of a strong and loving community. But now that the community looses more and more members and fights with technical difficulties permanently, I decided to let Buzznet go and look for happyness and self-fulfillment elsewhere.

I have long thought that I am not good enough, not strong enough and not confident enough to make it on my own. But here I am, starting this blog all on my own, daring a step into the unknown and hoping that it will change my life.

Because isn't this what life is all about? Stepping out of your comfort zone and watching how it will make you into a better person.

Some weeks ago I have made a decision that will change my life drastically. Last year I spontanously decided to do a tiny internship (only 5 days!) at a publishing house in my new home town, just to see how the work in the publishing industry is like. Never would I've guessed how these 5 short days would affect my life. In the months after my one week internship I wrote a short text for one of their new books, did a reading at an event and wrote a blog for their website. I got all these chances because I was there when others were missing out and because I took every new oppurtunity regardless of my fear of failure. A month ago the owner of the publishing house surprisingly asked me if I am interested in a job. And here I am, taking a leap into the unknown. I am pausing my studies, quitting a different job and remodelling my whole life for a chance which I have never expected.

With this blog I am doing the same. I am very interested in writing, books, movies, TV shows and music as well as general inspiration and tips to improve ones life. I will follow all blogs which make my heart beat faster and am hoping that what I will offer you here, will do the same to you.

I am excited and nervous about this new challenge. Being afraid can't stop us from moving forward. It's okay to be afraid. We just have to do it anyway.