And then everything changed

Donnerstag, 25. Februar 2016

Links I Love

Every now and then I find something in the huge world of the Internet which leaves a deep impression on me and which I feel has the power to change something in some way. Here are 10 links of articles and videos which I recently discovered and absolutely love. Enjoy!

1. Witness - Circus of My Sun

This is a documentary about a circus in Morocca which employs kids from the poorest slums of the country. They have no chance of a future in their slums and are condemned to live a miserable life like their family and friends before them. But the Circus of My Sun offers them a chance to travel and earn money and express themselves. With the circus they suddenly realize that there is more to life. On most locations where they travel to and perform, people don't even know what a circus is, but when they see what these kid acrobats are capable of they are mind-blown. It's a wonderful, beautiful true story which gives you hope that the world might not be that ugly after all.

2. Daniel Radcliffe NME Interview

In this perfectly documented interview with Daniel Radcliffe, I had the feeling of really getting to know the actor. He is, in fact, very different from your typical Hollywood man, even "bizarre" as the article calls it. I am a huge fan of Daniel Radcliffe's post-Potter work and I found him abolutely outstanding and adorable in this interview.

3. David Kushner: Zola tells all: The real story behind the greatest stripper saga ever tweeted

I admire straight-foward story-telling with simple words which let the story speak for itself. The Rolling Stone is a magazine with many authors who are masters in this art. This article is a perfect exemple. It's the story of a stripper who gets involved with a girl who prostitutes herself. The article includes the accounts of the several participants of a roadtrip to prostitution without favouring one side over the other. Simply a great read!

4. Justin Bieber - Love Yourself

I have never gotten the music of Justin Bieber and I always felt like it's too eletronical for me and somehow too weak. But when I first heard his song "Love Yourself" I instantly fell in love with it. It is so soft and somehow festive, like it might be a Christmas song. And at the same time it's just an incredibly nice way to say "Fuck yourself". I listen to it on repeat for an entire evening every other week. Also the dancing in the music video is fantastic.

5. Kesha - Dirty Love

Apparently Kesha once had a plan to create a new music genre which was supposed to be a mixture of Girlie-Rock and Pop. But of course her record label was against the plan and rather wanted her to continue to produce Electro Pop hits which all sound the same. The only song which came out of Kesha's new genre idea was "Dirty Love" and it really shows a different side of her. I wish she went down further that road.

6. Emily Witt: Diary

This is a fantastic portait of the Burning Man festival which captures the essence of this event wonderfully. Emily Witt describes her time at the Burning Man, inculding political discussions, orgies and more. It's very real and honest and it makes you want to be there and never, ever have to go there at the same time. Great writing!

7. Michelle Goldberg: I was a proud non-breeder. Then I changed my mind.

One of life's biggest questions is weather to have children or not. Michelle Goldberg describes how she was always convinced that the family life is not for her, regardless of the fact that she's happily married. I can identify with her a lot, as I too, don't think I'll ever want to have kids. Children ruin your life, that was her attitude. But then she changed her mind and she had a son and it was the best decision she ever made. It's a beautiful real-life story.

8. Kristen Lamb: Being GOD 101 -  The Basics of World Building

One of my biggest dreams is to one day write a fantasy novel. But besides the fact that I still wait for a genius idea, I also find world-building to be the hardest thing a writer can do. It's simply overwhelming. Nevertheless, here Kristen Lamb breaks it down to the basics and she explains it in a way I can understand. The point which impressed me most was her argument that you have to create an unsual world in order for it to be fantasy or science fiction but still make the world feel strangely familiar to the reader so that he can find himself in it.

9. Stephen Rodrick: Inside Leonardo DiCaprio's crusade to save the world

I admire Leonardo DiCaprio's movies and I think that he's an incredible actor. But though I was always impressed by his ecological campaigns, I never really got what he is trying to do with them. This Rolling Stone article follows DiCaprio to a shooting of a new documentary and really gets to the bottom of his fight for our world. The article portraits DiCaprio as someone who is disillusened and frustrated by Earth's probable future but at the same time keeps fighting for it nevertheless. He truly believes in the cause, so much that it eats him up.

10. Saturday Night Life: The day Beyoncé turned black

I love SNL sketches and this one is definitely the most brilliant. It's hilarious as always but at the same time it's also brutally true. White people, even myself, never really perceived Beyoncé as a black person which of course she is. With "Formation" she finally celebrates her black culture. Watch the sketch, have a good laugh and then think about it.

Sonntag, 21. Februar 2016

First, take care of yourself

I was sick over the last week. I was so consumed by my work and ignored my cold for days, until it finally develloped into the real flu and I had to stay at home for a week. I feel a lot better now, not only pyhsically but also mentally.

Because my real illness, was not the flu, it was stress. I had so much stress at work lately, handling a million things at once, things going wrong, correcting mistakes. There were days were I ran from one of my company's locations to the other all day long because I had to take care of things at both places, stopping at home twice to cry in my boyfriend's arms.

It was just too much.

The problem is not that I work too much, it's that my work follows me into my evenings and weekends because I constantly think about it. Which is idiotic, of course. Because I can't change it now. I am the kind of employee who leaves at 5pm and doesn't answer phone calls at the weekend. But what good is it, if I think about work nevertheless?

And it's not just my work. I am constantly worrying about tomorrow, next week, a year from now, when I'm old. I'm worrying about my furute, my boyfriend's future, my friends' future, my company's future. With all this, there isn't much time left which is simply mine to enjoy.

Now I had plenty of time for myself because I was sick. And it felt so good. For the first time in a long time, I really took care of my health and my mental health. I let my boyfriend make me soup. I slept a lot. I did yoga. I drank plenty of tea, I read. I watched movies. I wrote in my diary.

And I realized: Being stressed and worrying all the time truly is a waste of the time we're given. For all we know, we could drop dead at any minute. We should just enjoy it! We should do things that make us happy! We should really live!

So from now on, I'm gonna go to work, do what I can, but when I leave the office, I will leave it all there. I can deal with this shit tomorrow. But in the evening and on weekends I will spend my time with people and activities that make me happy. If I feel like it's too much, I will take a break, not only when I'm sick.

Because it's nice to care for others or your company. But first of all, we have to take care of ourselves. There is nothing selfish about putting your own mental and physical health first. This is simply surving the best you can. And this is what we're all here for.

Montag, 15. Februar 2016

Presenting my photography

One of my resolutions for 2015 was to learn photography, and I did! I took two photography courses at university and did several photoshoots. In a conversation with my friend two weeks ago, I wondered what to do with my pictures. She suggested to create a Facebook Fanpage for my photography. Great idea! I'd love for you to check out my FB page here.

So far I've shared three albums.

1. Geisha shooting

2. Dancer shooting

3. Cemetery shooting

Sonntag, 7. Februar 2016

Do what makes you feel alive

My new 2016 diary says, It's time to be happy! And I love it because the message is surrounded by pretty roses in pink and purple. But still, it made me think: Isn't it always time to be happy? Honestly, I can't imagine thinking, oh well, being happy might be great, it's just not the time for it. Because all we want in life is to be happy, right?

But then, why aren't we? I realized that most times I am too worried or pissed of or anxious to be happy and I overthink every tiny detail and somehow it feels like, given the circumstances, I am not allowed to be happy. My boyfriend's job search isn't going so well. I have difficult events to organize in the near future. My friend's partner is a douche. There are major decicions ahead of me. How could I be happy? I have to take care of so many things. I have to get my shit together. There's no time to be happy.

Let's write this down:

I am always allowed to be happy!

I don't have to ask for permission to be happy. Even if my life is stressful and overwhelming, I can still be happy. All it depends on is what I focus my energy on. Do I drown in my misery? Or do I take the nessecary steps in order to improve my life, but afterwards allow myself to calm down, be grateful and do something which makes me happy?

Do what makes you happy. This sounds about right, but it's still too vague. What makes us happy is a tricky decision. Maybe we think watching TV shows all day long and eating chocolate makes us happy, it definitely does!, but in the long run, is this really how you want to live your life eyery day?

So rather than telling myself, do what makes you happy, I tell myself:

Do what makes you feel alive!

Doing what makes you feel alive gives you energy, it makes you really live and soon you will thrive for more experiences, for change, for risk - all the things which make you happy.

What makes me feel alive? The first time I thought about this saying, I was having a bath with my boyfriend some years ago. I looked at him and it was like I could literally feel the existence of my beating heart, that's how physically I felt my love for him. In that moment I understood, this is what they mean, when they say "He makes me feel alive."

Still many moments in which I feel alive are with my boyfriend. Cuddling, deep talks, sex, experiencing a beautiful night sky with him. But there is so much more. Creating something, may it be a blog post, a novel or a photograph makes me feel alive. Sharing my work makes me feel alive. Travelling, going out with my friends, great conversations, dancing, reading a book which really pulls me in, meeting new interesting people - all of these things make me feel alive.

In 2016 I want to do more of what makes me feel alive. Will you join me?