And then everything changed

Sonntag, 21. Februar 2016

First, take care of yourself

I was sick over the last week. I was so consumed by my work and ignored my cold for days, until it finally develloped into the real flu and I had to stay at home for a week. I feel a lot better now, not only pyhsically but also mentally.

Because my real illness, was not the flu, it was stress. I had so much stress at work lately, handling a million things at once, things going wrong, correcting mistakes. There were days were I ran from one of my company's locations to the other all day long because I had to take care of things at both places, stopping at home twice to cry in my boyfriend's arms.

It was just too much.

The problem is not that I work too much, it's that my work follows me into my evenings and weekends because I constantly think about it. Which is idiotic, of course. Because I can't change it now. I am the kind of employee who leaves at 5pm and doesn't answer phone calls at the weekend. But what good is it, if I think about work nevertheless?

And it's not just my work. I am constantly worrying about tomorrow, next week, a year from now, when I'm old. I'm worrying about my furute, my boyfriend's future, my friends' future, my company's future. With all this, there isn't much time left which is simply mine to enjoy.

Now I had plenty of time for myself because I was sick. And it felt so good. For the first time in a long time, I really took care of my health and my mental health. I let my boyfriend make me soup. I slept a lot. I did yoga. I drank plenty of tea, I read. I watched movies. I wrote in my diary.

And I realized: Being stressed and worrying all the time truly is a waste of the time we're given. For all we know, we could drop dead at any minute. We should just enjoy it! We should do things that make us happy! We should really live!

So from now on, I'm gonna go to work, do what I can, but when I leave the office, I will leave it all there. I can deal with this shit tomorrow. But in the evening and on weekends I will spend my time with people and activities that make me happy. If I feel like it's too much, I will take a break, not only when I'm sick.

Because it's nice to care for others or your company. But first of all, we have to take care of ourselves. There is nothing selfish about putting your own mental and physical health first. This is simply surving the best you can. And this is what we're all here for.

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