And then everything changed

Dienstag, 18. April 2017

Don't Sweat The Big Stuff

I'm 25 and it seems like daily I am bombarded with the big stuff: marriage, children, career, house, etc. Don't get me wrong, it is absolutely the time in my life to make these big decisions, and some of them will most definitely be made in this year. But still - give me a break for a moment!

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There has been a lot of discussion on social media as well as in my real social circle on the question: children or career? It seems like especially of women it is expected that they choose one of these paths and somehow the whole world wants to know which path you're going to walk. Well, what if I want neither of these things? Neither kids nor a career are in any way a priority in my life right now. I'd much rather focus on spending as much time  as possible with the people I love and doing the things I enjoy. And this is absolutely okay.

Society wants us to constantly chase the next big thing, the next milestone in your life. Unfortunately many of those milestones take place in your 20s - so I'm in the middle of this crazy chase. Except I refuse to participate. Yes, I do want some of the big stuff but I want to be happy and conent on a daily basis a lot more than that. When will we start to realize that life is not about climbing a ladder or building the perfect family? It's about the small stuff.

What's the first question people ask when they meet a new person? It's mostly: What's your job? As if you could define a person by their job. But you can't. Instead of immediatly asking about their job, why don't we ask about what interests them, what's important to them, what they are passionate about, what they enjoy doing? For some lucky ones this will be the same thing they earn money with but for many others it won't. This is the stuff which really matters. The small stuff. What you do without anyone paying you to do it. What you are dreaming of. And most importantly the people you decide to share your time with.

So let's take a step back from the big stuff. Those decisions will be made when it's time. Instead we should truly enjoy the small things. Also, let's stop asking people when they're getting married, when they're having children, or what their next career move will be. If they are close to you, you will be told this stuff sooner or later. And if they're not close to you, then it's frankly none of your business anyway.

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