And then everything changed

Mittwoch, 3. Mai 2017

Is Love Enough?

You know how the movies end once the couple have admitted to their love and come together, making us think that from then on there will never be problems again, like in the hiraliously accurate song from Crazy Ex Girlfriend?

Well, you guessed it, it's a lie. The real challenges starts when the movies end. Relationships are hard and you will have problems no matter how over the heels in love you are with each other. They say: Love is enough. But sometimes this is hard to believe. So is it true?

I think there are two types of struggles a relationship can face. The first are external struggles. You might get along fantastically and be happy with each other every second you are together. But the rest of your lives might not be so sunny. Even if it seems like your love life is all that matters, unfortunately this is not the case. Career, family, health, and more - all these areas can produce problems which will probably also have an impact on your relationship. For example you might have to move for a job or because a family member needs help. You might have to face legal or health problems which threaten to tear your relationship apart.

The good news is that this doesn't reduce your love in any way. It might even strengthen it, when you get a "You and me against the world" mentality which is kind of romantic. But it's still tough. Constantly fighting for what you love is exhausting. You have each other but it can seem like the rest of the world is trying to pull you apart. And there are relationships which fail because someone has to move away or is too involved in their job. But are those the relationships which are built on real deep can't-live withouth-each-other-love? Probably not. My secret is that I'm a big romantic and I think that in the end love will always be stronger than all those external things which are making your shared lives difficult.

The second kind of strunggles a relationship may face are internal ones and those are a bit more tricky. I'm not talking about having a fight now and then or sometimes being annoyed by a habit of your partner. I'm talking about the big stuff. We all know these couples who seem to do nothing but fight - often about the same issue over and over again. When a relationship brings you more misery than joy, it's obvious that there's something fundamentally wrong with it. You might just not work well with each other, you don't get along which is why you constantly hurt each other.

This is definitely unhealthy. But still I have seen couples of this sort stay together for years and years despite having so many internal problems. Because they love each other. For me the one sign which tells if someone is your one big love is if they stay. Love is stronger than all these struggles, even if it makes you miserable.

So yes, I do think that love is enough and I also think that in many cases you really don't have a choice than to fight for it. Because it's brutal, yes, but it's also the most amazing feeling you will ever experience.

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