And then everything changed

Sonntag, 13. September 2015

The best version of yourself

You know how people always say "Be the best version of yourself"? As if I was an old Iphone and they advised me to to the update to the next ios-system.

But in real life it's a bit harder. There will be no pop up which tells us, there's a better version of us available. So how do we know when it's time for an update? An how many versions of ourselves are there? Will the new versions just keep coming like Apples updates and will they maybe, also like Apple udates, be nothing more than the same deal like the previous version, just with a fancier name?

Of course I can see that I have changed over the last years. But this wasn't a matter of switching from a fallible to an improved version of myself in the matter of seconds, but i was a long process which I'm afraid wasn't controlled by me but was a reaction to the changing cicumstances and the growing challenges.

Lately I feel a bit stuck and terrified of the future. I spend a lot of time worrying about things to come and regretting things done. I know that this is unhealthy and that I should focus on getting forward instead, but it turns out to be a difficult job. So, where's my magical update? Believe me when I say, I'm totally down for a better version of myself right now! I need to impove, I know that. But I can't find the right software to install.

Some weeks ago, I made this scribble in my diary:

What do you think? Is it possible that the best version of ourselves is the mess we've become? Is it time that we stop trying to improve and start accepting, that this is it? Or is acceptance a synonym for giving up?

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