And then everything changed

Dienstag, 7. Juni 2016

Fake it till you make it

You have probably heard the term Fake it till you make it before. And though faking is a word with lots of negative associations - it is usually considered to be close to lying and not being true to oneself, which is pretty much the definition of the life I don't want to live -, I still find the saying to be partly true.

If you are anything like me, than in your mind there is always a battle between two concepts:
1. you have to be a better version of yourself, you have to evolve, to change
2. you should be true to yourself and only do things which you feel comfortable with

During the last months many people have taken personality tests which determine your personality type and which should enable you to choose a career, a partner and a lifestyle which truly suits you. And while I love personality tests and have gladly participated, I am still working in a job and living a life which apparently does not fit my personality type. At least according to this test, but not according to others.

I am one of these weird people who don't know if they're introvert or extrovert. I can be shy at times and uncomfortable with new people but at the same time I do like people, actually I don't like being alone very much, and I rarely am. In my job as a PR person and event manager for a publishing house I have to talk with many people, organize events and even take responsibility. And yes, the part of me who'd like nothing more than to never make a phone call ever again and have noone and nothing depend on me, is terrified.

But I am still doing my job, and yes, as cliché as it may sound, I do think it makes me into a better, namely more confident, version of myself. Because I'm not very confident until being confident is the only option. Then I can be confident as hell. And then I enjoy managing events, and talking with people, and even making phone calls.

How do I do it? The truth is, I pretend to be confident and outgoing and sociable until I actually become confident and outgoing and sociable. I fake it till I make it. And I don't think it's a lie, because both, the introvert as well as the extrovert aspect are parts of my personality, so they both need to be nurtured.

Are you introvert or extrovert? Do you sometimes fake it till you make it?

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