And then everything changed

Dienstag, 7. Juli 2015

On Choosing a Name for my Blog and The Butterfly Effect

Ever wondered why my blog is called "And then everything changed"? Everytime I link a post on Facebook, it shows my blog title followed by the title of the current post. And I keep wondering how this is perceived by people. It gives the impression that every single post I publish changes everything. And it kind of does.

For those of you who have never heard of the Butterfly Effect, here's the main idea: The wind a butterfly creates in one place on Earth can cause a hurricane on the other side of the world. A little thing can have a huge impact and can infact change everything.

Here's a little story out of my life that prooves my point. There were countless instants in my life that caused deep inpacts in my future but three of them were especially major and they were all encounters.

When I started High School I was doing alright. I was funny and quirky and I got along with the popular girls. Then in 6th grade a classmate asked me if I wanted to hang out on the weekend and of course, friendly and open as I was, I said yes. This hangout turned into a six year long friendship which broke every little part of me. I never really like that person. I dreaded meeting her and I met her every day so I dreaded every single day. She dominated me and controled me, she was mean and played psychological tricks on me. I won't blame her because I let it happen and I became so quiet that I could go days without talking. People stoped noticing me. I created a fantasy world which was the only reason I could get out of bed in the morning because I knew I could return to my imaginary friends once the day was over.

In 12th grade I finally managed to break our friendship up. But I suddenly realized all the lost years, all these wasted teenager experiences, all the memories I never had the chance to make. If I had never become friends with this person I might have enjoyed my High School time more and I might not have dreamed of leaving for years. But as it was, I wanted only one thing: Get away.

This is why I chose to move to a town at the other end of Germany to study. From then on things got a lot better. But still I didn't trust anyone. I never let anyone in. And I thought that I am not lovable.

The fact that I studied at this university instead of persuing my dream of studying journalism at a different place combined with the fact that I switched to Politics after a semester, was the reason I was informed by my politics professor of an exchange program with a university in Michigan. I always wanted to do a semester abroad but I wanted to go to the UK and when this didn't work out my choice was the University of South Alabama. I didn't get this spot either but I ended up in Michigan.

This is where I met a fellow exchange student. This was the second time an encounter changed everything. For the first time I let someone in and I fell in love so hard, I was obsessed. This guy was not brutal and manipulating but he was a selfish jerk like so many other guys I have met so far and he dumped me and broke my heart.

If it wasn't for this heartbreak, for this absolute misery I found myself in, I would have never let my boyfriend in. It was only because I was lonely and sad and I wanted someone to console me, that I started dating him. After a short time I realized that this person, my rebound, was the best human I have ever met and I found myself loving him more than I ever loved someone or anything ever before. And I still do.  Today he is the person I decided to share my life with and it was just because of many on the first sight unlucky instances that I met him and started going out with him.

I chose the blog title "And then everything changed" thinking about the moment in his residence hall when I pulled him closer to me and kissed him for the first time. Because it literally changed everything. I wouldn't live where I live now, I wouldn't have the job I do, I wouldn't know the things I do and I wouldn't be the person I am today, if I had just walked out of this room that night. Meeting my boyfriend changed everything for me because it offered me real love, something I doubted even existed before.

"And then everything changed" is a reminder that though it may seem that you're stuck in the same misery forever, it only takes one single moment to change everything.

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